Apr 27, 2009

Telemarketers of Religion?

Something unexpected happened this morning. I got a knock on the door from two young ladies asking me what I do to cope with stress. A quick glance at the books they were carrying tipped me off (hint: what is DOG spelled backwards?). So my options were:
  • a. Play dumb and say "I don't know" because clearly they knew they had the answers
  • b. Smile friendly and give a safe answer such as "Turn to your support network such as friends and family"
  • c. Act hungover and give a controversial response like "Drink heavily until I black out while my live-in lesbian lover siphons my thinned out blood for a transfusion"
I had about 3 seconds to decide which way to go. I had to think quick, so here's what whizzed through my head:
  • option 'a' had the potential to become a huge time suck.
  • option 'b' might mislead them to believe I am interested.
  • option 'c' had the greatest risk - neighbors whom I haven't met could overhear (and you never want them to dislike you), these ladies might think I need their help the most and suck up even more time, they could become highly offended in which I would feel bad and probably end up giving them money or food. And a promise to attend a 'meeting' out of sheer guilt and obligation.
Of course I went with option 'C' (a modified version however). I also refused their literature with a smile and they went on their way to the next house.

I never thought Jehovah's Witnesses would be knocking on doors in a Jewish neighborhood. A very Jewish neighborhood.

So here's something that I will preach to you all today: never say never.



  1. i'm guessing you said that you're atheist, or you gave them money, or both...

  2. Wait until the Mormon boys come knock on your door... you can be like me when I lived over there and answer your door wearing only a t-shirt no pants.....

  3. LOL. Mormon boys?

    How did they react?

    I better start watching Big Love.

  4. Yes... they were on their mission to spread the good word of the Later Day Saints. I'm sure you'll encounter them on their bicycles wearing suits one day......

    Upon seeing a girl with no pants on they did what any upstanding adolescent Mormon boy does.... run screaming from the house.... Sinner! Sinner!

  5. Thanks for the heads up! I'll make sure to have an interesting response when they come around :)

  6. And possibly be scantily dressed.

  7. Do you guys get ADT salesmen? We've been having them stop by like every other day (no joke)

  8. No, not yet anyway. What do you tell them?