Hen Party

January 20th isn't too late to post about the holidays is it? Oh well, it's my blog, so I'll go by my rules.

Here is what the dogs enjoyed as their Christmas dinner:

No, not the meat head - the Cornish game hen he's holding in his hands.

A big 'hen party' for the bitches only. And it continued the whole weekend! Do your pets get special holiday treats?

In Hiding

Where's the red border collie?

Rylie can't be bothered with being disturbed. Being disturbed = sharing the couch with anyone, even Karma. That means snuggling is automatically out. But yet tossing blankets onto her is totally welcomed.

Weird.

But extremely cute. No?

Buttered Up

Some indoor entertainment (for both humans and canines) in this dreary weather:

I could use some more ideas, we're running out of peanut butter...

Flat Broke

Thanks to Karma, this is no more:

Ever since we went away for July 4th, she has become an absolute TV junkie. And I don't mean her eyes happen to be pointing at the screen when she's on the couch.

It used to be that she would hear animal sounds on the TV and run up and watch. Or maybe look for the ball during tennis matches, as they whiz across the screen.

Quickly her favorite commercials became: King Kong 3D Universal Studios, Empire Flooring, and Cymbalta. But now it's anything on TV. And her watching habits have become, how do I say, interactive?

She killed the screen in 2 shots. First was the Empire Flooring commercial, where there is an animated cat at the end*. And then the final shot was when a woman was walking her dog at the end of a Cymbalta commercial.

After she slaughtered the TV screen, she would continue to sit and watch the black screen. As if hoping for it to turn on. She's even moved onto watching computer screens now. Her new favorite activity is to Skype.

Anyway.

RIP little guy.

To the TV grave yard you go tomorrow (monthly e-waste collection).

*if we sing "588-2300 EMPIRE" she will run to the TV screen.

Jump Around

Look at me!

Wheeee!

Jerk Around

Suckers!

Harlequin

My dogs aren't my only muse:

You remember Harley right? He was posing so dramatically for this photo shoot...

Joyride

Rylie and Karma on a car ride...

to nowhere. Sorry girls. Actually, they don't even look disappointed...

Capsized

Guess who spent the weekend with us? One of the chillest border collies ever, Cap (short for 'Cool kickin' it Cap' at least in this house)!

This was his birthday weekend so we started off with a nice walk to the pet store:

It's a good thing he doesn't have sharp teeth, he's a snapper! Or just really excited to celebrate his 12th year!

Here he is keeping me from my coffee:

Of all the places to hang out, Cap picks the kitchen. Our very tiny kitchen. And of course in front of the one spot I needed to reach...

Maybe the problem was that he needed coffee too?

The weather had warmed up in the afternoon so naturally - it was time for doggy ice cream!

Who needs cake?

Karma is enjoying Cap turning 12...

Who's 12? What's 12? Who cares, I got frosty paws...

All the pooches enjoying the cold treat. Not sure why they aren't relaxing and lounging?

Cap polished off his treat. And then some. Hey, it's his party and he can eat the cup if he wants to!

I even filled the doggy pool but Karma was the only one to use it. Cap and Rylie just drank from it.


We concluded the pooch party with some ball playing. Here are El Capitan's conquests.


Cap was here.

I think he had a good time, wouldn't you agree?

Super Bowl

This was my living room during the big game on Sunday:

My dogs play flyball. So naturally as athletes, they watched the Super Bowl:

Need a closer look?

They're not smushing their noses on the TV to chase the ball for once. And check out how focused they are. I wonder who they rooted for?

Art is Long

and so are dachshunds!

Harley

Harley as art

Did you know that "weiner" means wine merchant in Yiddish? It all comes down to wine, folks!

Spay Day

Both our dogs are from the local shelter (yeah we pretty much hit the jackpot), where they were taken in as strays. One of the protocols once an animal is impounded is to be spayed or neutered if they are intact.




So naturally, I entered the Spay Day 2010 Photo Contest. You can vote for Rylie here, and Karma here. In exchange for donating, you are able to vote for Karma and/or Rylie in the photo contest. The money goes directly to spaying and neutering pets.

So please vote! And if you're funds are dry from donating to Haiti, I forgive you :)

Toying with Me

To my dogs:

1. Why do you pounce on your toys?
   Does it make you feel tough when you jump onto inanimate plush objects? Or nylabones? Do you truly think you are saving me from that fuzzy lamb? Do you forget you are a completely domesticated animal and actually think you are out in the wild among dangerous predators?
   
   
   
   
2. Why do you de-gut your non-threatening toys?
   Is is because you don't enjoy the toy anymore and wish to put an end to it? Do you just love playing with it so much that you get carried away? Did you expect hidden treasures in there? Does the squeaker drive you nuts as it does me? Were you being heroic and making sure it could not possibly at all in any way, pose a threat to me?
   
   
   
   
   
3. Out of the dozens of toys available at any given moment, why are you both always fighting over the same one?
   What's wrong with you each playing with your own? You could each have 6 to yourself at any given moment if you wanted to.
4. Out of the dozens of toys available at any given moment, why do you insist on the saliva-soaked, foamy, smelly one?
   When it's wet, it's cold and smelly. What about that is pleasant?
   
5. Why do you put your toys in danger of getting stuck in places when you know you can't get it out?
   And then cry about it. I can understand when you hide it in the blankets and try to dig it back out, but not when you get it stuck in places that obviously require opposable thumbs. In particular, under the couch and under the TV.
6. Why do you stand 6" in front of me when I toss you a toy?
   Is it really that much fun to catch it 6 inches from my hand? Over and over and over again? Back up a good 10' for some fun once in a while!
   
7. Why do you both drink from one water dish when you each have your own?
   
8. Why do you stalk each other?
   I know you are herding breeds, but do you think by laying low to the ground outside in the middle of our flat, non-grassy lawn that you somehow become invisible to the other one as well as the rest of the world? You are no more invisible to each other than two paddles on a ping pong table.
   
9. Why do you eat poop? Seriously, why?
   
10. Why don't you chew?
    When humans eat chicken or steak, we savor the flavors by chewing, which is also imperative in the digestive process. You also have taste buds and digestive organs, and teeth (far superior teeth). So why not use them when you eat?!?!
    
11. Why are you surprised when you pass gas?
    As "smart" beasts, do you have to make such a stupid looking gesture? Do you really need to sniff you own rear end to figure out that it was you that cut the cheese? And every time?

For such intelligent creatures, I would really like to know. Please get back to me soon, k? Thx.

A Butt of Fluff

A while back before I painted these tables, I discovered a mysterious chunk of fluff stuck to them:


Upon closer inspection, I recognized it as Rylie's tail hair:



Is this another form of natural occurrence in a dog household? Or was she threatened by this post? Is it normal to find chunks of dog fur in strange crevices?

Mow Down

I don't get this ad, do you?


Did their cleaner "clean" the dog so well it bleached it's fur? Then how is it eco-friendly?
Or is the dog so dirty that they cleaned it?
Or is their cleaning so powerful it sucked the fur off?

Does anyone get this?

Wish List

Each year for the past several years, we've requested no gifts for the holidays. Why? Well here, let me list the reasons, I love any opportunity for a list:

1. We don't live near any family, so everything would have to be shipped
2. Space is precious and limited (especially when we still lived in the apartment) so we don't need any more 'stuff'
3. This automatically eliminates any possible stress (did I mention I hate shopping?) on what to get us
4. This saves everyone money (we couldn't be happy knowing our gifts are breaking our loves ones' banks)
5. If gifts are a must we've suggested options of consumable items, handmade items, or inexpensive items
6. This directs the holiday's focus on the more important things rather than the materialistic, like sending a card with a nice message that we are missed and loved
   
7. And if a card was forgotten, a phone call would make us just as happy
8. Cash. We will accept cold hard cash. Just kidding. Or are we?
   

Since we've started this tradition of breaking tradition, we've received handmade items, food baskets, wine. And everyone has been on board with the idea!

Even though we request no gifts, it doesn't mean we don't like to dream. Here is my wish list of items I need or would love to have! Uh oh, I sense a list forming:

Image from Amazon.com

1. Bathroom vent because the one in the powder room is about to die any minute now, and it would be nice to upgrade to an integrated light
   
2. Pendant chandelier to replace the ancient one in our stairway
   
3. 2 storage ottomans to replace our coffee table which is heavy and bulky
   
4. TV console because ours is currently too low and Rylie has gnawed on the edges (thanks Rylie)
   
5. 3 bar stools to replace the ones that I sold. These have a smaller footprint.
6. Lever for the entryway door to the garage, it's the only one left in the house to switch out
7. Dimmable CFL bulbs for the chandelier in the dining room, surprisingly expensive and hard to find
8. Area rug for the living room that actually matches stuff and didn't come from a dead guy's house (we bought our current one at an estate sale where the homeowner passed away)
9. Buffet/sideboard/credenza/server/console/bar cabinet to store infrequently used kitchen things that are currently in the back of the coat closet
10. Electric hedge trimmer to keep the Creeping Fig in check
11. Roundup to show Creeping Fig who's boss
12. Power core aerator to loosen our compacted lawn (thanks dogs)
    
13. Soil pH and moisture tester to know what amendments our lawn needs
    
14. Fireplace draft stop balloon to well, stop drafts
15. Latex Window Glazing, because if you haven't noticed it's really drafty here
16. Caulking gun to apply said glazing
    
17. mailbox and new post because our mail box is rusty and won't close all the way and attached to a post that is hanging onto a retaining wall by 1 loose nail
    
18. A hard-sided cooler with drain plug to keep beers in during parties, and to keep our food in at flyball tournaments
    
19. Chiminea or outdoor fireplace because the firepit is really smokey on windy nights
    
20. More solar lights
21. Outdoor lights over our garage
22. An integrated hose and reel for the front spigot, so I can stop toting the one from the back
    
23. Artificial grass for the incline
24. Wheelbarrow for future lawn redo and possibly to cart around a dog or two around the neighborhoods so that we can cement our role as the neighborhood dog freaks

What's on your wish list? It's fun to come up with one even if no one reads it...

Dung It

This post is about excrement (doggy doo - excited?). And more specifically, how I choose to bag it. If you have read this post and this post, then you would certainly understand this post.

I don't buy poop bags because I'm cheap. And it's just money into the trash (I was going to say down the drain but that wouldn't be technically correct). So I reuse existing bags that otherwise would go into a landfill empty.

1. Newspaper bag (I shred and toss the newspaper into the compost)
2. Small shopping bag from Jo-Ann (watch out for those cut out handles!)
   
3. Bag that SOLO plastic cups come in
4. Bag that Rite Aid plastic cups come in
5. Bag that Shoppers Value plastic cups come in
   
6. Hardware store bag that hold nuts, bolts, screws (extra tough but a little too short to tie big poo)
   

1. Bread bag (long and sturdy for those messy poops that require pulling up grass with it)
2. Tortilla bag (not quite long enough to tie easily, so reserve this for little dry turdlets that can be contained with that thin ziplock seal)
3. English muffin bag (a slimmer version of the bread bag)
4. Shredded carrots bag (same use as tortilla bag, see #2! No pun intended)
   
5. Produce bag (this is the ultimate, it will never fail you if you snag them unused. They're long and can be stuffed easily into your pocket and have a large capacity. One of these suckers can rid a whole yard of well-formed-excrement in one go. The only downside is that they are clear so if you are on a walk, others will see the lovely contents you are toting around.)

With 4 dogs here for a week, that meant a lot of poop at various times of the day in assorted sizes, shapes, colors and smells. So I got creative with my turd baggage. If you have any other suggestions, let me know - gosh dung it!

Pooch Party

Guess who's visiting again?


And this time he brought his sister, Zip:


Rylie's so excited:


So is Karma. Wait, why are they all passed out? Carbon monoxide poisoning? Wait, 1, 2, 3... where is Karma?..BRB...